another deployment day down & a sprinkler

time goes by so.stinking.fast. my life is based, gauged, recorded and documented in a revolving pattern of deployments, or moves. i recall memories in increments of pre-deployment, during deployment, or post- deployment. or duty stations. it is dysfunctional ,yes, it is. somehow i feel it makes me constantly aware of change. i’m sure other people have their methods of doing the same thing. for me i know greg left sixty something days ago. in some ways it seems like yesterday. in some ways and in others it seems like ages. i try to imagine what it will really be like to have him home again, i can’t fully do it.  the kids have adapted to some new ways of doing things, and have grown and changed on their own as well.
asher has turned two
and tate is riding his bike.
the weather is changing.
keegan has had ceremonies, awards ceremonies, and has just been excelling in general at school.
i.feel.older

my heart aches a little to know we can’t get this time back.

the thing that is bad about this, as i’m sure i’ve said before is deployments tend to rush your life. i just want the to be over, and that’s not going to change. but i don’t want to miss anything. because deployments are here…..to stay…..for now.

because it’s Veterans Day, and i don’t say it enough…

i am more proud of the military and my husband today then ever. pre- military i didn’t understand the sacrifice and i didn’t really know what it meant to serve in the military. without dying, though that’s what it is for some, serving  is one way while on this earth ,still living, you can fully give of yourself. i’m not talking about myself or a roll as a spouse. i’m talking about the active duty member, on the field. you have to give up ,at least temporarily, every desire you have mentally, physically, and emotionally. It is selfless, and it is necessary. and it is appreciated my me. it is a job i wouldn’t want to do. being left behind over and over is one of the hardest thing i have done, but it can’t compare to the  sacrifice military men and women give everday.

right now my husband is "over there" again... thousands, of thousands of miles away. sleeping in a small room, on a bunk, with a pink blanket(yes, a pink blanket because that's what they had and begars can't be choosers), he can't read this blog, or see this pictures because well...the military doesn't believe in blogging. nahhhh.. the computers just won't let him. but anyway, im thinking of him, and thinking of all he has sacrificed, and i am truly thankful.

he’s a moment/memory “during deployment”
Sprinkler time. In Florida. In November.




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