life is like a box of chocolates

Sometimes in life you don’t know what you are going to get. And sometimes you do…you know exactly. And that’s why if it isn’t a positive thing you cringe at the thought of that nasty chocolate in life. You know, the one you pick up because it’s the last one left, or cause Aunt Ruthie tells you to.  It says orange crème and you know it will be repulsive but you taste it anyway. Well, picking up that nasty chocolate and wasting the calories is our own darn faults cause we could have left it in the box till next Mother’s Day, however in life these unpleasant things aren’t always by choice.

The anticipation once we know how things are going to go is difficult to say the least. The day(s) I had my three babies are the best three days in my life. I will never forget any of those day. Each story was completely unique, as each child is unique, but the first time I was blindly unprepared and unaware of what child birth would be like. I feel I had a great labor , so my feelings weren’t based off a bad experience, but going into labor the second and third time knowing what I knew after the first was was scarier, for me at least.

It’s the same with deployments. I talk about them a lot and we lived through uhhhh I don’t know I lost track…ten, twelve? And the more you know, the harder it gets. It isn’t like the mystery in a box of chocolates. I know exactly what I’m going to get, and I don’t like it. Well, okay, not exactly. I’m not sure if the toilet will break before or after the bugs invade, or what bill will accidently be overlooked, or what order my children will rotate sickness in, but I do know it will be challenging.

This is not meant to be depressing of the downward spiral that it is becoming. I am just very aware, and find it interesting how my view on deployments has changed. Am I capable? Yes. Do I want to be? No. I feel no need to be the hero. No need. I just want my family together all the time. And oh.my.gee… The book Greg brought home for Asher. Really. If you want to cry read this 48 hours before your family goes through another seperation.

Asher read it to himself, upside down, giggling the whole time. Then Greg read it to Asher and I video taped that for Asher to read when we can’t talk or skype.  No wait, Greg read one called “Over There” another fantast tear-jerker.
The one that made me tear up is called “I’m Here For You Now”
And reads
“ When you feel scared my arms will keep you safe….I’m here for you now.

When you feel sad you can cry on my shoulder….I’m here for you now.

When you feel upset my smile and hugs will calm you….I’m here for you now.


When you feel clingy I’ll stay close by your side….I’m here for you now.


When you feel grumpy my songs and stories will cheer you up….. I’m here for you now.


When you feel worried my gentle choice will ease your fears…. I’m here for you now.


When you need comfort you can count on us to love and care for you. We’re here for you now.


There is a picture to insert into each page *tear* This doesn’t really sound this sad, but when I think of the times my kids have cried and cried for there dad it breaks my heart. When Keegan was little he thought Greg lived in the water tower on our military base. I was in shock when he was riding in his car seat and started asking how daddy got in and out of his house. There is nothing more to say about that. Deployments are hard on kids…hard on families.

Tonight my neighbor who’s children were already exposed to my sick children volunteered to watch the kids. If you know me I don’t take people up on their babysitting offers. I did have anxiety about it, but felt it was important. It’s a school night, and we have two school age kids each, plus my youngest babe hasn’t been well so I didn’t want to leave him, but Greg and I went for a quick dinner. I mean quick. We left at 7 and got back before 9. That’s including 30-40 minutes of driving. It felt a little like speed dating. But we had fun, and that goodness I didn’t have to try and get the guy.

Keegan took this pic of my while we waited for Greg. FYI belts for dinner = major fail

I only wish I had not come home to another one with a fever 101.9 to be exact. Another one bites the dust. I guess there is no avoiding this when you have more than one child.

By the way, it’s the child I predicted would get sick, the same child sitting by the one who threw up in the car.